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Reply To: Self Trust

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February 10, 2019 at 7:53 am #279523
Cali Chica
Participant

Dear Anita, my sister sent me a text yesterday that she was getting dinner with a friend near my apartment. She asked if I was available and if so she would stop by. My husband and I are about to sit down and go through our wedding pictures, a task that we have put off for over a year now. So plan is we are going to sit down and finally tackling, go through thousands of pictures and pick about 100. On Saturday night.

I thought – in the past, if she came over during the task like this I would go away from what I need to do with myself and my husband and then focus on her. That will not happen today. So if she wants to come over great, but we are doing this task, she can  sit here or help us. But this is the goal of the night.
So I said to her OK that’s fine, we are going through wedding pictures so come on over whenever.
She comes over, she brings her dog, our dogs play and that is nice but of course rowdy, there’s definitely some commotion, and I decide that we have to get back on track to go through these pictures, having two dogs and a small apartment and all of us, the focus was lost of course for a few minutes. So we get back on track, we start having fun and joking around about many of the pictures. Halfway through the experience she starts telling us a little bit about her work and her new neighborhood. All good things, some of the new people she has met. She then started talking about how she think she wants to get another dog because her dog is very lonely.
So here: Naturally and instinctively I think about how it’s probably not a good idea, given that she just moved here and still balancing a new job, finances, new place city etc. But I don’t say that, I say OK Interesting, let’s talk about it later now gottA get back to the pictures.
Done: we continue with that, going through the pictures, the dogs start causing some ruckus in the other room, so I let her know that it’s too loud and they may have to be let out, and that she should go make sure they’re OK. In the past I would’ve gotten up myself and then gotten annoyed that I can’t just finish this task at hand, and then my husband may have gotten annoyed our one task we needed to do was disrupted since my sister was over. Etc.
but I realize, she is sitting here and able to help equally, not my responsibility to do everything. I’m sitting here focused on the task. So she handles that. She gets up and manages the dogs. Simple.

So we continued, and around 10 PM we finally finished going through all the pictures. It was a sigh of relief, we then thought to step out to get a snack. It’s nyc on a Saturday so 10 pm is lively and lots of places to eat. At that time she mentioned that she was going to head back to her apartment. The old me might’ve said – oh don’t go, why don’t you eat something with us first. But I don’t say that, it was getting late my husband and I were tired and cranky from all of the hours in front of the screen looking at the pictures, what we needed was some relaxing downtime and a good meal. That’s it. Simple. So yes It was best that she went home and that we all got some rest. Good for all. Nice evening overall.

The end.