Dear Anita,

It is interesting you mention the girlfriend as once I was slightly more grown up I often wondered whether him cutting contact with me had anything to do with her… although she was always very kind to me in person. Even often covered up for my bio father when he would lack contact with the usual ‘you know what he’s like’ etc.. I guess I’ll never really know.

I don’t really remember her ever telling him off, I’m sure she did but just not around me – the things I know now about her ensuring he was around etc are only known throughout the past few years since I am an adult and can understand it better. My mother never said a bad word about my dad to me either, she always apologised on his behalf if he didn’t show but didn’t dwell on the subject too much. When I say she didn’t dwell on it I mean she didn’t try to make up excuses for him, nor did she tell me, her small child, that he is basically a useless, unreliable alcoholic. She’d just apologise, affirm she is sure he would’ve liked to have been there and ensured I was having a good day anyway.

Honestly, I can’t fault her for how she has dealt with it. I know she always tried her best, unfortunately for me his true colours showed when I became an adult.