Dear Anita,

I got to say that your replies always hit me right through the heart. This sentence, “The young child that you were did all that he could to rescue his mother from her struggles, from her despair, to make her happy. Maybe he handed her a napkin to dry her tears, maybe he handed her his favorite toy so to make her happy, maybe he did his best in school”. When I read it, it ignited past memories of me watching my mom crying again and I was trying to make her feel better. I cried really hard just now having these flashbacks.

It’s true that my heart still long for the old desires that I manifested when I was a child till now. My mom recently had a minor surgery in the hospital. I was really upset because I thought to myself. What if one day my mother leave this earth and I still couldn’t make her proud know my situation right now. I feel that I would regret if mother pass away and I couldn’t bring her to overseas to travel and take care of her. These thoughts are really affecting my life right now, pressuring myself to be successful and to be more, more and more so I can make my mother proud. It’s really tiring, so tiring Anita.

“When you attempt this or that job, be it bartending or real estate, your confidence is low, you are not motivated because you expect failure.” Does this means that I suck as these jobs not necessarily mean that I wasn’t interested but my subconscious mind tells me that I’m gonna fail anyway?

Would going into fitness my true passion on the other hand would be my heart trying to find the old desires again? I am abit confused on these parts.

Thank you so much Anita!