@anita

Yeah, sure. I’ve started to meditate and work on my mindset. I realized I put too many expectations on a relationship. I expected a relationship to make me happy, but all it did was made me depressed. Not because who I’m with, but because I pick out every little thing I don’t like in it and create arguments with it. I create false threats.

I’m starting to step back and see the bigger picture now. And am focused on my life and career which I feel my emotions are becoming more stable. I’m still struggling with my relationship because I feel I have lost a lot of respect from her. And not only that but I’ve started to see her flaws and I can see that she is emotionally immature. She withholds how she feels and never communicates properly. I believe this is due to her ‘daddy issues’ where she was abandoned by her father and so she is afraid that I’m going to abandon her so she tries to protect herself from being emotionally attached and isolating herself when she is struggling.

I love her a lot and care about her and I found that I put so much energy into our relationship going nowhere but down because I was going the wrong direction with it all. Now that I have stepped back and realized the bigger picture, it feels as though it is too late. The hole has been dug so deep, recovering will take a lot of effort. But in addition to all this I have to focus on my own health first because that is where I lost.

Sorry for this little ‘rant thing’. This is just where I see myself standing at the moment and in wonder of how I can go about fixing this mess I made.