@brandy

Thank you. That’s exactly what I needed to hear. Once again, thank you so much.

@anita

I was neglected by my mother. She paid no attention to me. My father had a lot of anger. He would always get angry with me. He would yell at me. My parents were divorced and separate. When my father was at work, his daughter (from another woman) who was an adult during my childhood would torture me. Treated me like an animal. I don’t have the heart to talk about the specifics because it’s too humiliating. And when I told my father he didn’t believe me. Left me for years of torture with this monster.

I feel like a representative of the quote, “He who fight with monsters might take care lest He thereby become a monster”. I became the monster that I fought all my life.

I wish I could be loved. But I guess I’m undeserving of love. I finally found someone that loved me and all I did was hurt her. Now I’m all alone again. Maybe I should give up the search for love and just harness my evil.

@anita

No, he isn’t really in her life. What I mean is that it is possible that they could run into each other again in the future. Not to imply that it happens. Just likely since their families are acquaintances. And when I say this, their families know each other but do not have gatherings together. More than likely they’d probably get together once a year at most. But not always. And not directly, implying that other families will be there.

But yes, she cheated on me with him during the time we were dating and I was away. She claims to have felt so much guilt. During that time that it happened we were arguing and due to the long distance and work, I could only have about half an hour of time a day to speak with her. And during those half hours, we just argued. In a way, I didn’t trust her. I guess I can only accept responsibility for this.

Though I believe under no circumstances should a member cheat. She was young and in a way felt hurt that I didn’t trust her. I don’t believe it was her intentions for this to happen. And she claims to have been very drunk at a club and met him there by coincidence and her best friend at the time convinced her to bring him.

Her old best friend (old implying that they aren’t friends anymore) didn’t support me in her life because I was honest with my opinion towards her. My opinion was that she was a bad friend. She had bad character and no morals. I could see that she was only selfish. My girlfriend at the time was loyal to her due to their long history of friendship. Of course after our breakup, she did realize that I was right.

So to summarize and put things into perspective, my girlfriends, best friend at the time hated me. My girlfriend claims she would tell her that I’m the problem and that her ‘ex’ is better than me. To make things simple, her best friend was planting ideas in her head that were opposing me and in favor of her ex. Then her family told her she was too young to be in a relationship and that we won’t work out.

Now to the day the affair happened. Her story claims she was extremely intoxicated to which her memory is a blur. Her friend invited him over. And then after awhile of watching a movie together, it just, ‘happened’. She said she knew it was happening but didn’t stop it. Then she claim when she woke up the next morning, she realized what she did and felt so guilty she cried. She then didn’t talk to him after that incident until I broke up with her which was about 2 weeks after.

What bothered me most is that she never told me that she cheated on me. It wasn’t until we got together again and a month passed. And I started noticing that whenever the topic of cheating came up she got quiet. So eventually I ended up pushing her to tell me what’s up and that is when she told me. That is where it hurt most. That she intended to lie to me about it and hide it, for awhile at least. She said she wanted to tell me when we were in a position where I couldn’t leave her. As manipulating and wrong as it sounds.

@anita

No she doesn’t. But her family are close to his family.

@anita

She wasn’t completely alone. She was accompanied with a female friend. According to her she slept with him once during that time then a month after we were broken up she started seeing him again. She also claims to only have been tipsy, nothing more.

I hope these details can make more sense of the situation if you would like to re-evaluate it. If you have questions for any more specifics, don’t hesitate to ask.

Thanks.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by sadman11.

@anita

I’ve been doing much better. I’ve talked to my therapist and also been reading a lot of articles on the psychology of what I am affected with and I feel I am gaining a better understanding of things. Sure there is some inner feelings of uneasiness, but it hasn’t overpowered me and taken control. I have subdued it into a small voice but now I have to keep it like that until it fades away completely.

@anita That is a very accurate description of how I feel. I’ve been going to therapy but I feel like it’s only a band aid. They can only do so much. I’ve been looking for answers from within via meditation. Trying to complete myself from the inside out.