Later during the day (past Saturday), two customers were in my restaurant at 9PM (hour before closing). And one was short and blonde wearing a light colored sweater and jeans while the other was tall, had black hair and wore black athletic wear (nylon sweatpants and sweater). I think the athletic wear was a soccer outfit, so they may have just finished a soccer game. Both people were good friends and as I listened to their conversation I couldn’t help feeling like they reminded me of two halves of myself. It was like I was seeing two people who were mirrors of how I could be at times in my life. The blonde and short person was giving advice to the taller black haired one. Both were biologically female, but I think that the one who had black hair and was wearing athletic wear may have been questioning their gender identity. Anyway, I heard them both talking. I am going to use person 1 to refer to the blonde haired and short person and person 2 to refer to the tall black haired person. I don’t want to misgender anyone or confuse you with the appearances. So person 2 (tall, black-haired) was crying and I felt compassion for them. They were telling their friend (person 1) how they felt like they were losing themselves in their life and didn’t see a purpose in it. They said that they were stressed about school work and wasn’t sure if their friends were really helping or adding to the stress. They were afraid that they weren’t going anywhere in life, but trying their best yet still feeling empty inside. They talked about how they had a relationship for ten years and the person they were dating died in a car crash when an alcoholic person hit their partner and how they felt sad. They also talked about how they didn’t really understand their role in society and wondered if what they were learning was going to help them or if they would know how to use it. They told their friend that they didn’t understand their gender identity and felt overwhelmed with the stereotypes of society and felt like they were losing themselves each day. They didn’t understand who they were anymore and didn’t feel like they were living the right life.

Hearing person 1 (black hair and tall) talking about their struggles filled me with compassion and I felt like I was looking at myself when I am in my darkest moments. Anyway I love their friend’s response.  Person 2 (their friend who is blonde and short) told them that life is a journey of trials and tribulations. Sometimes you may fall apart and life feels meaningless but you are still alive and can experience things. Pain comes into a person’s life to help them work on improving themselves and make them understand where they need to reflect on who they are. Person 2 understood that person 1 was struggling and gave great advice to help person 1. And it helped person 1 because they started to cheer up a bit. Person 2 (blonde hair and short) told person 1 that no matter what happens, that they are beautiful and that person 2 will always be there for them. Person 2 also said that although you may miss the person you lost, sometimes life is touched with rain and you are have holes in your self, but those spaces give you room to grow. Through pain, we become more aware of ourselves and through the sadness we learn to appreciate what we have. Person 2 told person 1 that they are okay. They don’t have to have it all figured out now and that person 2 will always be there to help person 1. The person who is gone would want you to live your life in a way that honors them and you should build yourself up because then you have strength. Person 2 told person 1 that everything happens for a reason and that they should live their life in a way that honors the person they lost. The other person’s life was short so you should appreciate each moment and build yourself up. Allow the people who passed away to live through you and keep striving for your goals. Honor them by being who you are. The love that they gave you and the memories that you created won’t fade, so treasure them and build yourself up. It may be difficult now, but you’re not alone. Person 2 told person 1 that they were going to stand together and help each other through. And that person 1 can build themselves up to stand tall and work on making their life meaningful because life has so much to offer and each day is different and the universe keeps changing so it’s important not to give up and take each moment as a tribute to those you love and treat yourself the best because you are special and life is short.

Before they left, person 1 (black hair and tall) looked at me and I felt like we were sharing pieces of our soul, like we were seeing ourselves in each other and we both felt compassion. Person 2 (blonde hair and short) told me to take care of myself and not stress myself too much with friends and school work and take time to look at the things that matter and work on uplifting myself and others.

Person 1 (tall, black-haired) reminds me of who I am when I am lost in gender dysphoria while person 2 (blonde hair and short) reminds me of the hope I have and the advice I give to others and when I feel like I am working towards who I am. Both represent two halves of myself, one during my darkest days and the other the light that comes back after being lost in the darkness. It was like I was seeing myself reflected in two different people. Although I didn’t have a person die in a car crash, I have lost someone I care about to suicide. I have moments lost in gender dysphoria when I see myself as person 1 and that customer who was in my restaurant is a reflection of myself. At other times when I’m encouraging myself and others, I am person 2. So it was like I was seeing two people who were like me and that they were two halves of myself and this experience allowed me to look at people in a new light. Everyone has a story and is struggling in some way. People are more alike than they seem and we all feel sadness and it’s important to tell someone that they are valuable because that person may need it. People don’t have to be afraid of others (unless there’s an actual threat to safety), but they can reach out to them and better understand the world around them and who they are as well. People shouldn’t be afraid to reach out and connect with others because we are all human beings having a purpose and sometimes the person you reach out to can make a difference in the life of you and them. So after this encounter, I decided to spend the week ahead spreading positivity to people. I told people to have a good day and I felt content to look upon the smiles I got from people. One person told me that I was a blessing and that they were glad to have met me and this was yesterday. It’s amazing how an act of kindness can go a long way or how the people around you can make you understand your life more. Take care of yourself Anita and keep the kindness spreading. I am grateful to have met these two people this past Saturday and also spend time with my special friend. This experience made me realize how special life is and how valuable each person is.