I have to bring up the topic because I am always confused by it. My ex destroyed me because I was slowly realizing the control that was being held on me by him and his family. I truly believe he comes from a narcissistic family, not to say they all have a disorder but they definitely have traits..a lot! While researching Narcissism you find that there is a pattern..Love bomb, devalue and discard. Not sure if you are aware? His family could NOT get enough of me from day 1 as well as him. They all welcomed me and treated me like I was family. He treated me like a queen. Him and I had our issues but we lived a good life. Work, going out and on the weekends forget it, always something planned. His parents lived 2 1/2 hours away from us where they had beach homes we would visit and have parties at. We went literally every other weekend. On the off weekends I was trying to make a life in a new city, or try to make plans with  family my ex had in our city. Also every couple of months I’d leave to Chicago to help with my sick mom. We traveled often to see my family. Life started to be too much. The long drives to his parents and the constant demand of having to do it started to frustrate me. His mother called me almost every day and she was good to me but I started to notice that after I spoke to her I usually felt bad about myself. Like I would doubt myself. Because she always suggested I do something different. She called him every morning, throughout the day and at night before bed. His father did this as well. They gave this man no space! I started to notice we had no space. All of our decisions and plans were basically run by them first. We started to discuss which turned into arguments. So I brang up the word boundaries since it is what I learned in therapy, that I could not say no. Well I started to. And slowly him and his family started criticizing me and isolating me. I realized if you do not do what his parents want they isolate you. That is how he felt too that is why he followed their rules. For him they hold money and properties over his head. He even admitted that my last day there. He told me I was right and he knew with my new attitude his parents wouldn’t approve so he started looking for someone else. But that was a lie because he had been cheating since the beginning. But the point is I gave him everything, my heart, my soul and body and when I left I was a shell of the person I knew. He exhausted me and him and his family with their slow but steady little comments of insults chipped at my confidence and I even relied on this man for that. I relied on him for any and every thing by the end. Some times I have nightmares because I am so afraid of being that person again. My heart still cares for him because until I seen him take his mask off he was my best friend and love of my life. And I feel bad for him, with these patterns and the rampage he is on since our break up it is clear that something is wrong with him.