Dear gj:

You asked me how do I define  love, here is my answer:

When you love pizza, you want to eat it when you smell it, your mouth salivates, you eat it and enjoy it, then you want more.

When you love a photograph of a person, you put it in a nice frame,  hang the photograph on the wall or place it on your desk or carry it in your purse and you look at it from time to time, feeling a joy in your heart when you look at it.

When you love playing chess, you enjoy playing it, time goes by quickly, you forget all your troubles, being totally focused on the game. You keep all the parts of the game clean, neat and safe, so to be able to play again anytime.

When you love a dog, you feed it and take it out, if it gets injured you care for it, take it to the vet, you give him a bath once in a while so to keep him in the house and enjoy the dog’s company indoors, you pet it, you play with it sometimes, you don’t kick it or hit it or otherwise mistreat it.

When you love a person, you never hit or yell at the person, never call him or her names, never say insulting things (ex.,  you-are-worthless). You get angry at him or her sometimes, but you don’t mistreat him or her. You maintain a no aggression policy with that person at all times.

You sometimes ask the person: how are you, how do you feel? And you sometimes ask the person: what do you think about this and that? You ask because you are curious about what the person thinks, what he or she values, what motivates him or her, is he or she content or not content, what does he or she want in life.

Sometimes, when the person looks sad, you ask: what is happening? You feel a bit of pain seeing him or her sad and you want to know why the person is sad and if there is something you can do to help. When you see that person happy, you feel pleased.

Sometimes you don’t pay attention to the person you love and live with, being otherwise occupied for hours, but you are attentive sometime during any one day. When you are not attentive, if the person says: I need your help- you pay attention, you want to help and you do your best to help.

When you love a person you keep your word to him or her, you want the person to trust you and you want to be 100% worthy of that trust.

anita