Dear Anita,

I like the flexibility aspect of your post.  Very true.  Depending on how we are feeling, and level of distress we can make decisions.

I cancelled social plans this weekend as I need to rest and attend to some errands.  This was a good plan.  The old Cali Chica would have “handled” it all.  But why? And for what reason? None.

A point I want to add is that of habit.  The idea that caffeine is needed to function, is common in our society.  There are days I wake up where I don’t necessarily “need” coffee but would go for the cup out of habit.  Perhaps later that day I felt more wound up from this caffeine, perhaps my muscles more tense.  Perhaps no, and I would have felt that way anyway. Regardless, being aware of any habits of ours – is important.  Important on the healing path.  We are always evaluating and re-evaluating what works and doesn’t – aren’t we.

To me, my yoga practice has been immensely helpful.  Since moving here, back to NYC, I have committed to a regular yoga practice.  It has helped me in so many ways, head to toe, mind and body.  I am really enjoying it, and look forward to continuing this practice – and seeing even more benefits.  If I notice positive effects in 2-3 months, imagine a year!

I also find that this has become an important part of my day – or however often I go.  I look forward to it, and for the most part, I try not to exchange it for another activity – such as a hangout with a friend.  I try my best to preserve it.

In fact, when we talked about the No Attack conversation, that day I came home after yoga and attacked my husband.  I look back and see the story clearer now.  IT was not, of course the yoga practice, that put me on edge.  No.  It was cramming too much into my day.  Making me angry, angry at myself and the situation, and then rushing back physically and figuratively – and then bam – roar.  There goes the attack.

It doesn’t matter if I was doing yoga or karate, or nothing.  It was my state of mind.  Therefore, yoga, and talking here has taught me – that the frenzy causes distress.  It is not even necessarily the activities or the people I am around, but the frenzied state.  If I rushed to and from yoga daily, and rushed through the practice without breathing – would I be relaxed? Would it help my mental state? No.

But if I see it as not just an hour of exercise, but the reminder to unwind, to protect this time, and that before and after/to and fro – then it is an entirely different experience.