Hi Joe

I believe these things are pretty much hardwired in me because of all my reinforcing behavior.

We do become addicted to our thoughts and there has been quite a few study’s showing that our thoughts influence the brains neuropathways.  The good news is that we can ‘rewire’ our pathways the bad news is that as you noticed the longer the habit the more difficult to change.

Many meditation masters may tell you that trying to stop thinking a thought will pretty much reinforce the thought. The more resistant we are to a thought the stronger the hold the thought has (do we hold onto the thought or does the thought hold on to us – when we resist its hard to tell) The advice you might get then is to be like water and allow the thoughts to flow. (detachment – not indifference to the thoughts only letting go the need to hold onto them) The practice being that when you notice the unhelpful/unskillful thoughts you acknowledge them, notice how to feel, perhaps identify what may have triggered them and then let them flow past. The flow of water will reshape any pathway even one of rock.

Is it possible to destroy this ego?

I’ve always had a problem with this question. In the west the idea behind the ego is different then that of the east. In the west the ego plays the important role consciousness. Try talking about being “woke” or about experience without using a personal pronoun.  What ‘woke’, what noticed the experience?

The ego, sense of self is a tool, the experiencer, the communicator between the spirit and body, the conscious and unconscious. The error we make is assuming we our experiences in other words that we are thins thing called ego. Place in popper context the ego isn’t something we need to destroy but understand.

Here is a paradox for you. It takes a strong health ego to let go of ego.