Ashley,

I believe that communication, perceptions, and how we interrelate is not all about the other person’s responsibility.  Your original question on whether your treatment at your club is because of the club members’ perception and judgment of you or that it is how you behave and are dressed.

I see that you have gotten good feedback from people here (including myself).

You seem perceptive enough to know how people are responding to you (What I’ve noticed is that many of the members make judgements about me, without even having had a conversation with me.).  I am not sure how you know how the members judge you without talking with them.

You say you are not getting any specific feedback on why you are perceived as condescending.  My take is when I think or feel a person is condescending is when they talk about themselves without expressing any interest in me; when they talk about how great they are (accomplishments, skills, talents, experience, etc.) when it has nothing to do with the topic at hand or if they do, there is no humility; when they try to one-up me when I talk about myself; when I feel that they are not really listening to me and more focused on how they can start talking about themselves instead.

Do any of these behaviors seem like how you act?

Mark