Sona,

I am of mixed mind about how much I’m “taken care of” and how much I am in (almost) control of my own destiny and life.

I think what my spiritual outlook and practice (Taoist/Buddhist-like) is that we all will go through rough times.  The purpose of my spiritual practice is knowing how to deal with them.  I believe sitting with those kind of sad/bad feelings is the key of being able to deal with life better.  I am not really that good in doing that.  For the most part, I’d look to distract myself out of my loneliness, boredom, sadness, etc.  However, I do believe if I practice more on BEing with whatever negative emotions I experience, the better off I will be in the long run.

I also look to methods that are backed by science on how to be happy.  Such methods are: Physical exercise, sleep, disconnect from social media (stop comparing myself with others), connect with others, spend time with Nature, help others/volunteer, meditate, practice gratitude, and spend money on experiences not things.

If you deeply depressed (sad and grieving) that is keeping you from doing those healthy things then first try BEing/sitting/meditating on that sadness and grief.  Plus try do a little bit at a time to get to doing healthy things like take a walk around the block for you exercise, have a daily gratitude journal, sign up for a regular volunteer (weekly) duty somewhere (ex. food bank) – there are opportunities you can find on craigslist or websites if you google it.

Does that help?

Mark