What I’ve noticed is that many of the members make judgements about me, without even having had a conversation with me. I dress like an investment banker, it makes people who are more comfortable in jeans and T-shirts feel differently. The level of speech (my vocabulary and complexity) are higher than most, again people feel uncomfortable. The fact that I have a very assertive and self-confident walk and mannerisms, irks others. If they actually sat down with me they would see that “condescending” aura shrink, but people would rather believe what they want to believe.

My take on all of this is that you cannot control people’s perceptions of how they see smartly dressed, accomplished people who use complex vocabularies. If you are generally friendly and don’t speak in a way that makes it sound like you believe those who are dressed down and speak in more conversational terms are “less than,” or inferior to you, then you are likely just being lumped in with a stereotype. I’ve come across quite a few people who absolutely do use their “million dollar words” to make people feel inferior in conversations, and I think those are the people who give others who are simply being their brilliant selves a bad name. The way you dress and speak may also make you seem a bit “uptight,” which can come off as arrogant. If you wish to not be seen as condescending, it might be worth it to dress down a little bit (however many of the other members of that club dress) and use normal conversational speech rather than your complex vocabulary, which may make you seem more relatable. However, I would really suggest that you just continue to be yourself, get to know those who are willing to get to know you, and pay no mind to those who don’t understand you….

…but maybe, at least for a little while, pay close attention to how people react to your words in conversation. Their facial expressions and body language responses, especially. Notice any changes that happen immediately after you say certain things. That will tell you a lot on whether you’re saying or doing things that are putting people off and what those things are.