Dear Anita,

I will reply to your post by parts – as a student.

1) I am beginning to feel small inkling of true empathy for my husband. This may sound ridiculous to an outside person.  But to someone who has been numb, frenzied, and in many ways self-oriented on my own path, it makes sense.  Yesterday was in fact a night where I felt true empathy for him, the beginning of it.

About my sister,

you asked how does she help me? And I pondered it out loud (on paper to you), and I thought about how she is helpful – but in fact it is that she and I can relate, that we have a strong bond, and that we have fun together.  Especially now that I have worked on some of those boundaries.

But the answer is NO she is not helpful.  It isn’t someone i need to harness immense empathy for (which I have my whole life )

Instead, it is my husband I need to help, and harness empathy and “help” for.  I notice for so long how my mother and sister took his place in this.  It was like not being married at all – or being married to my mother/sister.

So back to the justice…

I am going to re-read the first part and think more while I await your reply.