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Dear Lindsey:
It made me smile, reading your second paragraph and I am still smiling, I like it. And I like talking with you too!
“When he had access I felt a disconnect and a disappointment. Like I was looking for something and didnt find it in his room”-
I think you were looking to see yourself in positive light, to see you as the likeable, lovable woman that you are. It is similar to us looking in the mirror and wanting to see a beautiful image of ourselves. People are our mirrors. Problem is often people don’t see us as we are and so they provide us with distorted images of ourselves. Or maybe worse, we see nothing in the mirror.
Which brings me back to the same point, better know a man, see that he sees you first, and that what he sees is a wonderful thing, a valuable thing before letting him see the naked body.
It is not only men who don’t see us. It often starts with our parents not seeing us, not seeing us as someone of value, or not caring to see/ hear what we think or feel.
anita