Dear Lindsey:

I have a little time before leaving for the day. You wrote: “My father was always working and I was really just an extension of my mother kind of like a doll… No childhood trauma”- people think of trauma as something involving broken bones and blood, but if a child is being treated like an object (a doll), depending on what personally you mean by it, it can be emotionally very damaging, although that damage cannot be detected by X-Rays and is not life threatening via bleeding.

“his face is blurry when I try to remember him physically”- I experienced such, it is the brain under great distress, it gets foggy, forgets things.

“Regarding the ex- there was about 2 years of the coercion sex and then nothing for about 1 1/2 years when we separated”- are you talking about the man you are still living with, your husband? If so, no wonder you are so very distressed! When you do move to your own apartment (how soon?) your distress should lessen a great deal, once you feel safer in your own place.

“I was in a fog for about a year until 3 weeks ago”- a distressed brain is a foggy brain. Mine has been foggy for decades!

“I literally could not make a healthy decision for myself. I felt in limbo”- I wasn’t able to make healthy decisions for myself either, during all the years that I was significantly distressed. My brain was foggy, couldn’t remember, hold thoughts long enough so to evaluate people and situations. My life was indeed in limbo.

“I feel like I need a service dog to assist Me in making any type of decision about a man”- after you move out (how soon…?) and after you calm down, your distress much lessened, the fog will dissipate and you will be able to make a good use of your own brain so to make better and better decisions for yourself!

* I will soon be away from the computer for the day and be back here in about 24 hours from now.

anita