Yes, it is brave to take risks and face your fears if you have worked out it is only fear holding you back from reaching out. A shame about the college then but understand about the costs involved. It is very very normal the feeling you are having when being rejected for jobs you have applied for, especially for people who are used to the ‘rules’ of school life and used to excelling. First jobs are the toughest to get for all, most people usually end up starting somewhere they didn’t imagine they would / not what they wanted, but as a way to gain the skills and experience to make applying for the next job easier and more successful. So long as it is at least a step towards what you want – in your case a step towards buying your financial freedom – then it’s just something everybody has to get used to dealing with, being rejected and standing up and trying again. If you read about ‘Resilience’, you will see it’s one of the most important qualities you can develop to help through life ups & downs.  Hope it works out for you.