Dear Anita,

I agree with you, I always instruct, and voice my concerns – but for sake of this conversation – it didn’t change the outcome of where my mind went – nor does it ever.  I have done this my whole life. My issue has never been not instructing,explaining, voicing concerns.  I hardly ever keep things in so to speak.  But this doesn’t “make me feel better”

Why? Because the root of the issue is the blame game, self hatred, self blame, or projecting negativity onto others.

The reality of the issue is not instruction, and opportunity – it is the blame game.  Whether I instructed him or not, did not take away from my innate knee jerk to blame/”hatred” towards him – and then blame/”hatred” towards myself.