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Rose,
It sounds like you are giving your whole self away to him for it sounds like you are being very self-sacrificing. I have been a major source of support for him, even through my own cancer, two parents’ deaths and losing a job. I have never asked for anything from him…
I am curious why you are not paying attention to what your therapist is telling you about him. You don’t think he is toxic? You don’t think that he is keeping you where he wants and whenever it is convenient for him to use you, e.g. listening to him cry, etc.? He has told you upfront that he does not want to be in a committed relationship. It sounds like this is still true.
You say you are not sure what to do despite you stating that you should leave and what your therapist and friends say about him. One of the popular definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Mark