Dear Anita,

Thank you for your analysis and insight. It is a lot to absorb because it is complex and so well thought out. I see that you can come to these conclusions and understandings after getting to know me for over a year now. I commend this ability in you, and I am glad to have this increased understanding now as a result.   When we continue the exercise I will hopefully slowly allow that child to release, at first it did feel difficult as I don’t seem to have so many memories of being that child, it is also difficult for me to differentiate what is a memory of me being a child, or what is my adult comprehension of what I think I was as a child. Regardless however, the exercise is helpful, and it digs deep. It is for sure true that from a very early age, I had to hardened any of that softness. This wasn’t of course by choice, it was forced, beaten out of me, whatever you want to call it. Sometimes I feel that Don’t realize that softness is gone, because it does come up in certain ways. Compassion for patients, being a good friend, etc. But I see now today that those things are not softness, they’re just having some kind qualities, not being a mean person. Being nice at times. Being soft is an entirely different route home. Having soft Ness is the opposite of having hardness. This is difficult to quantify in my actions, interactions, or speech with others. It is truly something that is felt. And it is absolutely true, I cannot tell you the last time I felt any softness, not even a distant memory.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by Cali Chica.