Dear Ingrid,

I agree with everything Anita and Inky say above, but I will add this.

You think you were the needy one in this ‘friendship’ with Orange when it first began. But actually, what I’m reading here is that she is the needy person, and she recognised, in you, someone who might be content to put up with her selfish needs without having to make any effort at being a good friend in return. You shared some really personal details about your life with her and there was no reaction, sympathy, empathy or anything. Yet she expected you to react and help her with every little drama in her life!

Now she knows you’ve worked her out, she is kicking off, arguing with you at school and so on.

What I would do is concentrate more on your other friends and put some distance between yourself and Orange.

It’s hard when you think you have lost a friend, but in actual fact, you haven’t lost a friend, you have only lost a bad friendship.

We go through our early life learning who are friends and who are not. It’s a learning process. You are getting it right! You are learning which friendships are worth keeping and which ones to let go of. You have learned not to be so open with your personal life details until you really know someone a lot better.

People whom we have spent a lot of time with often leave a big gap in our lives when the friendship fades, and which leaves us feeling lonely for a while. This will pass. You will find other friends, other interests. Seek out those other friends in your group and push her out to the edge where she belongs.

With best wishes,

Jay