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Hi Varo,
Mind dumps are often the best way to start sharing and working through issues. It is difficult to start a new healthy relationship without giving yourself space to become your own person again first, to be able to stand on your own two feet, be happy on your own. But it often happens and life is not black/white, right/wrong. I do think it’s a big part of why you have become clingy, looking to this new relationship to look after you, take care of you. I think your new girlfriend has done the best thing possible to give your relationship a chance tbh – standing up for setting healthy boundaries and expectations is not easy and you should try to see this as a positive thing, she’s looking to take some time out to see how to make it work in a way that is a positive experience for both of you – otherwise you would have simply remained broken-up. Six weeks is not such such a long time to wait to get your own place – and I would not take her being ok to see you in a B&B in the meantime as a negative thing but rather a good sign she wants to give you both the space needed to take it a bit slower, talk things through. If you truly are interested in continuing with this relationship, try to be content with letting her setting the pace for a while, practice being independent, being the man she was first attracted to.
Seems to me the whole moving in together early thing was based on entirely different expectations from you both – I am guessing you did not discuss these expectations before moving in together the first time, lay out the ground rules so to speak – so important especially when children are involved. For example, why do you think you became lazy once you’d moved in together? What did you stop doing that you used to do – were you expecting her to run the house by herself for example? Did you have an expectation she would help look after your kids when they are visiting? The point of moving in together is that both parties should have hopes it will be a positive experience – what do you think the positive things are that you brought to that experience for her? If/when this relationship continues to develop down this path again, look to avoid making the same mistakes, talk through how it will work, what you will both bring to the experience.
Hope helps, let us know how it goes.