Dear coconut:

“I want to focus more on the present and what I feel now and why”- the why of what we feel in the present.. is in the past. Most of us keep re-experiencing the past much of the time. Our brain was formed during those formative years of childhood, many connections/ neuropathways made then and those neuropathways are strong, held together with the glue of strong emotion.

And so, what happens in the present is processed through those existing neuropathways and interpreted there.

If you want to focus on the present only, that would mean, I suppose, learning certain skills, such as being assertive. You can learn how to do it, how to go about it better than before. You can learn better communication skills.

How would you like to focus on the present and on your “experiences with other people”?

anita