Mike,

Regardless how much you don’t like her vs. him, I see this as an integrity issue.  You invited her.  To dis-invite her just because he cannot take being in the same room as her for a day impinges on your character.

I would not call not bowing down to his bullying tactics as “abandoning” him.  It sounds like you are holding onto people in your life based on your fears rather than how you value yourself.  Your history of being bullied and abused sets you up to be a doormat to anyone who threatens you like that.

Like I said, what sort of friend does that?  If you want to “patch it up” then talk with him honestly.  See what I posted before on a possible scenario in how to talk to him.

Mark