Dear Anita,

Yes it was.  It wasn’t a lie because I am not special.  It was a lie because she did not mean it.

She spewed out words that were convenient to her at the time, to decrease her suffering, to escape from the critical voice as you say.

If I say to my sister for example, make more friends, mom is right – at this age you should be out socializing more

my mom may then say, look how mature and wise you are daughter

if as a kid I say to mom, god that friend is so annoying and jealous of us, we shouldn’t talk to her..

my mom might say, look how astute you are in seeing this, see how smart!

she may say anything – but if it fits the “non-critical” agenda in her head – yes

the moment it doesn’t — I am garbage, I am nothing