Hi Jessica,

The following may or may not apply to your situation, but I have come across people who expect and demand to be looked after all their lives. I used to have a female friend who stated, ‘that’s what men are for’. She meant to be used, to expect them to pay for everything, and look after them just as though they were parenting her. She would often say, about her partners. ‘they are supposed to look after me’.

To make someone else responsible for every aspect of your life, and therefore your happiness, is so incredibly distressing to the other person in a relationship. The friend I mentioned above never had a relationship lasting more than a few years. Her expectations simply put too much pressure on her partners for them to cope with after a while.

I’m not saying that this is the case with you yourself, because simply asking the questions and acknowledging the answers means you know that something is not quite right with your expectations of others and you are taking huge steps to get yourself to be more independent. I’m just simply asking you to consider whether you are actually trying to make others responsible for your own happiness, when really, happiness comes from within ourselves.

I thought long and hard about whether to write this post, as, like I pointed out, I don’t think this is the case with you. I just thought I would mention it, as it’s often the case with over-protective and babying parents that their offspring expect the same from others as they get from their parents, and see others as their only route to happiness.

with best wishes

Jay