JayMark,

You said:
1. Divorced 1.5 yrs
2 In the past, you are not able to share your emotions
3. Have depression for most of your adult life – now undergoing treatment and sobeer
4. Currently seeing a therapist, living in the present moment & staying healthy

Question: How to stay open to reconcilliation without letting it take over your life?

I don’t understand your question. What do you mean by “staying open?” What do you mean “take over your life” ?

Do you want to get back together with your ex-wife? She has no interest in doing that since she is dating and want her boyfriend to meet her children.

Let her go. Focus on your own personal care and health. Focus on being the best father you can be. It sounds like your children have been through a lot of rough years.

Mark