Dear Ellydj:

I didn’t realize the pregnancy was so long ago. So if I understand correctly, the abortion happened 25 years ago and 13 years later your husband died. Sometime after his death (how long ago?) you found the abortion notes in his wallet.

I suppose you felt guilty during the affair, then after the affair and most intensely since you found the notes, am I correct?

No wonder posting on this site didn’t make you feel better so far- the guilt has been intense for a long time. It will take time and maybe it will not make you feel better, I don’t know.

If you want to try, to give it more effort, share anything you want about your marriage and that affair, your husband’s illness, the experience. I will read attentively when I am back to the computer (it may be as long as 20 hours from now, maybe earlier) and reply.

anita