GL- Yes, I am panicking big time. And all you said is true. I am still trying to prove him right in my head and find fault with my doings during the course of my time spent with him. I am over analyzing the conversations we had just to prove myself wrong. I know it’s not healthy. I know this isn’t gonna solve things for me. But I am doing it. Infact I have been spending the last few nights rewinding & replaying the entire scene of what happened when I was with him. Not just that, I have also been visualizing how and what our future meet ups should look like- although I know there’s no future. While I understand all that I’m doing is only bringing me more pain and is not helping me in anyway, I am unable to stop these thoughts and imaginary world i am painting.

On calming myself down- I am trying. I had to visit my family for a week and I’m with them from 4 days now. I have been spending time with them, watching movies together, running a lot of errands and all of it. But my mind is all into this guy. Not for a micro second my thoughts are diverted from him- irrespective of what i am doing and that is draining me completely. That’s exactly why i want to take up a hobby (which i don’t have) that would keep me motivated and boost my self esteem. But i don’t find myself interested in doing anything.