Dear Anita,

Close your eyes, little Cali Chica, and tell me how you wish your mother was with you, what would she sound like, her voice, what would she say, how does her face looks like when she looks at you?

She is calm and kind. she has a nice soothing voice, and she sings sometimes, or hums. she makes me feel better, she hums me to feel better so I feel calmer.  her face is smiling, or neutral, it isnt tense, her mouth is not twisted. she is kind and soft and plump.  kind of like a sweet pillow.  sometimes I can sit in her lap and just look at her face and it makes me feel better – because it is soft and kind.  her voice is high like a fairy, like a sweet chirpy woman.  but sometimes her voice is also quiet like a whisper, if it is time to go to sleep.  she knows to change her voice depending on what is going on – with me.  she says that I am a good girl, and that everything will be okay.  that everything will be okay.