Dear Gregory:

Your words touched my heart, being referred to”the world’s most perfect mother”, and then, “you are now my mother”, this is most affectionate on your part, and I am honored. Thank you!

“I will study the girl when I have the interest of dating others in the future”- wise choice.

“She is trying to go for a man who is having a lots of money in order to build a house for her mother according to what she said”- a girl trying to please her mother still, trying to buy her mother’s love with a house. See, her heart is open in the direction of her mother, but it is closed in your direction and in the direction of her own son. It is a strong force, this desire to finally get a parent’s love, it is a stronger attachment than any other.

Imagine this: you go to her, to  your estranged wife, and you tell her something like: I understand you are trying to buy your mother’s love, that you want her love more than anything, but look here: I love you! And look at this child, your child, he loves you! We have lots of love for you!-

– but it will not do for her. What is likely to happen is that if she lives with you, she will take your money and give it to her mother, try to build that house for her mother. She will take money away from her own son and give it to her mother. What a waste that will be, more waste than you already suffered. It will be a waste because she will never make her mother love her, she will keep trying and trying, taking away from you and your son.

“I thought she will join me and makes a progress of our life, because only two  people..”- problem is there is a third person, her mother, and your estranged wife’s heart is open to her mother on a regular basis (not only during a moment here and there, isolated moments when she may be open to  others, and then… close again).

“She is now in a deep  pain too! Due to missing her son!”- I don’t know if it is true, maybe you think it is because we imagine mothers needing their children, but it is far from being the case always, often, it is not. It is the child who needs the mother way more often than the mother needing the child.

Also be aware that what your estranged wife says is sometimes true and often, it is not true. It is difficult to know, in a mixture of truths and lies, where the truth is and where the lies. Better examine her behavior so to determine her truth, not accept her words. It is too easy to lie.

To determine if she means something she says, think: what may be her motivation? I will be glad to help you to determine her truth vs lies when in the future that will need to be determined.

anita