Dear Valora , thank you for your reply

Yes i want a man whose words line up with actions, i want him to be affectionate. You are right i was the wrong one by continuing with him after he ghost me, the guy is just words not actions and that’s a complete deal breaker for me.

But i am afraid to be alone, i am unemployed it will be difficult for me to find new hobbies without money, all i do is just watch TV which later drains my energy, i feel useless and like an embarrassment since i never had any relationship that i can say was good , i feel like a failure in life in general, like the worst was only made for me, nothing best, the only blessing i have is my son, the other things are worst, worst things that always happen to me.

I’m so glad you realized that’s a dealbreaker from you and hopefully you can move on from this guy and find one who will treat you in a more respectful and caring way.

As for being alone and without a lot of money, there are plenty of hobbies that don’t require a ton of money. I’m a single mom with 2 kids, so I get how it feels to not have extra money for things.  Hobbies can be anything from reading books (do you have a local library that allows free membership?), writing blogs, taking walks in nature (trails in the woods or a local park, whatever is outdoors and available for you). I’m not sure how old your son is, but I used to love to kick a soccer ball around with my daughter at the park or climb the slides and swing with her, too.

If you aren’t sure where to start, just Google something like “low-cost hobbies” or “free hobbies” and see what you can come up with for ideas. Try new things. This is EXACTLY why you should stay single right now, because now is the time for you to figure these things out… because it’s also important when you’re in a relationship that you have your own separate hobbies that you can do so that you don’t become codependent in a relationship (which sets a relationship up for failure, basically, even when your partner is also codependent).

If you feel like a failure right now… the good news is that you can change that, but it’s going to take effort. You just have to start trying different things until you find the things you really enjoy… and you’ll know it when you find them because you’ll feel lighthearted and happy and time will just fly by when you do those things. Your mood and feelings about yourself will naturally start to improve as you find and do more of the things you really enjoy.

I’d also definitely spend less time watching TV. That’s been shown to make people feel exactly the way you do, even when watching interesting shows.  Even just finding a book series is a better way to pass time and feel good afterwards.  I love the young adult dystopian ones, like the Hunger Games, as well as self-help books. My mom and sister like the romance novels. Maybe you can find a series you really enjoy, too. There’s a book called “Girl, Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis that people rave over and that one might be helpful for you, too, and you might be able to find it in a free library because it’s been out for a while.