Dear Anita,

I want to add to my above question/comment.

I take it that you mean that: my mother invested in spur of the moment ways to reduce her emotional distress, such as projecting out, acting out, putting on performances, fleeing, acting, etc. none of these were authentic, and none of these led to any appropriate long lasting results.

Unlike her, I should engage in activities and behaviors that are more fruitful — a win-win for me, this is the part where I now pause