Dear Anita,

I hope you had a pleasant weekend.  I hope you were able to enjoy some fresh air, and also observe your thoughts without getting too bogged down.  I hope this same for myself – and it did happen.

Yes, you are right, I AM becoming more than that role of Super Cali Chica.  That role has a delusional way of telling me that it is in fact super, and great, and highest pinnacle of what to strive for.  But Anita, that role is — BS.

The work we have done over the last month has been incredible.  Do you recall (don’t know exactly what date but I can go back and look) the day I stated: I feel I am at a plateau.

I was.

I knew there was the next step, and deeper understanding – but I could not access it.

You helped me get there.  The exercise (of my speaking to you as young Cali Chica) has been incredible.  Beyond what I thought.  I answer you, and you answer back.  But whats more is that throughout the day I notice I carry it with me.  If i saw a child, after having a conversation with you about how my mother didn’t come after me when I went into hiding – I would ponder what that child is thinking.  If he simply needs someone to ask him what’s wrong?

This pondering, thinking, in a different light has given me more tenderness for myself.  Last week you stated: I am sorry for what has happened to you (and to yourself) by mothers such as ours.

And it is true, it is sorry, I am sorry – and it is sad.  I am able to better accept this.  And I notice 1% of the hardness dissolving.  Slowly I notice it- and this right here – well it is the real work.