Thank you for the reply Anita. Things you said make sense, but i think I missed a few important details now that I read your response and the events you pointed out. The way you described it indeed it looks like I’m clinging onto this “relationship”.

Let me provide some more background and hopefully this will complete the picture.

When I wrote my other post I was indeed an emotional whack, and the reason i think is because I was left alone to deal with my breakup #1 with my partner who I loved. Now that my distraction (the rebound guy) was leaving me I was left to deal with loneliness and lack of a guy presence (in any capacity as long as it’s romantic) in my life.

Now a bit more about me and my life: i have never dated until the age of 17 (college) and when i started I haven’t been single ever since. Meaning every guy would replace a guy before him. I was staying in the relationship even unhappy until I found someone I was attracted to and who would reciprocate, so I can leave my previous bf. I had 3 long term relationships over the course of my life and they all were that way, including my last bf of 5 years than I’m trying to get over the breakup with. I think this new rebound guy was again seen as replacement for my 5 year relationship, and I just don’t want to be alone. The thing is I’m really really attracted to the rebound guy, but this is it. I don’t think I’m falling in love with him, he doesn’t inspire me, he’s not my “type” of guy mentally, meaning he doesn’t seem emotionally strong, he doesn’t know what he wants, he confuses me, it’s just a lot of he were to be my actual bf. When he left in the morning after saying we shouldn’t be friends, the first thing I felt was overwhelming sense of relief and I can’t disregard that. It did happen! Over the course of the day through I became more and more upset, had to leave work early and wrote that post.

Now a bit about him as well: he’s still not over his 1 year relationship where (his words) she left him when he was at the peak of his feeling for her. He goes to therapy, he told me he’s not over her 3 weeks ago, and that’s why he’s sleeping around. All that makes sense and makes me think he’s not ready for a relationship with anyone, me or any other girl. Neither am I, I’m really fresh out of relationship. But if that’s the case for both of us, why would he bring up all that emotional talk? Why wouldn’t he agree to remain with just sex? Why was he so boyfriendy with me at times?

I also think he’s looking for that intense connection he had with her and it’s just not fair to compare with us when neither of us were putting emotional energy into this (or so I thought?)

Your thoughts are appreciated!

• This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by Julia.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by Julia.