Dear Cali Chica:

The ways you operated yesterday were definitely mature:

“for the first time in a very long time I discuss this with my husband. Not in a complaining way, or an attacking way. But a true discussion, like between two best friends or colleagues, respectful…. courteous and a great listener to.. my own spouse”.

(“if I am truly searching for that love and support in guidance, who better than my own spouse!”)

He told you that you “can be very impulsive”, asked you “how many times this is actually helped you?”, you figured it didn’t, that it “has always been detrimental to me”. You then talked about reducing self harm, that “Sometimes being an aggressor.. must fight back” is not the best response.

Next, you figured that the benefits of this job outweigh the negatives at this point: flexible job, good hours, all but one co workers are very pleasant, and quitting/ looking for another job is likely to distract you from your healing work. You shifted your focus from that one woman to other things, your healing, the hours, the benefits to you in this job at this time in your life.

Next you took the initiative of postponing the meeting and you proceeded to work “with a calm attitude, calm and centered” and the entire day was pleasant, professional: “disengaged and emotionally removed, yet friendly”. At the end of the day your director expressed that he was pleased with your performance.

I am pleased too, if I may say so.. as impressed as I can be. The turning point keeps happening, and will keep happening, keep at it, you are doing very well. !!!

anita