Dear Cali Chica:

The young child that you were, in your brain, there was no separation between you and your mother. You know intelligently that the two of you were separate people, her body was separate from yours. But in your mental perception, which happens in the brain, the two of you were not separate. Her calm was necessary for your survival because a mother out of her mind means her child will die, it is so imprinted in our genes. So the girl that you were naturally is doing all that she can to correct the situation, prevent her mother from going crazy. Do whatever it takes to survive a crazy mother, not understanding she is crazy, taking on her craziness so to have a sane mother.

You can’t relax, because you have to be alert: what needs to be done now to keep mother sane, what needs to be arranged, scheduled, done to keep the mother in control of herself, functional, sane.

(I read your second post, double posting).

anita