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Hello Dreaming 715,
You’ve only been together for three years and already this is a problem for you. This kind hearted man has no interest in pleasing you sexually – quite the reverse – he just wants himself pleased and your interpretation is that he doesn’t desire you. How much affection is there between you outside the bedroom? I don’t believe a person can change his personality along with his clothes. I think you need to take a closer look at your whole relationship.
You could obtain some books that you can both read or perhaps you would consider talking to a sex therapist. I would advise putting any marriage plans on hold until you’ve reached an acceptable level of compatibility in the bedroom department.
I hope it works out for you.
Peggy