Hello Dreaming 715,

You’ve only been together for three years and already this is a problem for you.  This kind hearted man has no interest in pleasing you sexually – quite the reverse – he just wants himself pleased and your interpretation is that he doesn’t desire you.  How much affection is there between you outside the bedroom?  I don’t believe a person can change his personality along with his clothes.  I think you need to take a closer look at your whole relationship.

You could obtain some books that you can both read or perhaps you would consider talking to a sex therapist.  I would advise putting any marriage plans on hold until you’ve reached an acceptable level of compatibility in the bedroom department.

I hope it works out for you.

Peggy