Dear Cali Chica:

I thought about this on my walk yesterday, thought about writing to you about it yesterday but .. ended up in that brewery I told you about, it was nice. But I digress. I thought this regarding the one unit with your mother (a one mental unit that every child experiences with the primary caretaker):

she was weak, running around like a child when she had to have a shot, afraid of the needle, throwing temper tantrums, like a child, complaining a lot of … not having friends to play with, sort of. So you, being a unit with her, had to be the strong adult person.

Let’s say a child needs to experience 80% adult strength, and the mother gives the child only 5% of that, so the child needs to make up the missing 75%. The result, young Cali Chica becoming Super CC.

“The media .. tells women that they can do it all. They can be CEOs and be super moms and still fit into a size two”-

– before media, it was your mother who behaved in such infantile ways, ridiculously childish, that to make up for the missing strong and adult person at home, you became that person who “can do it all”- study hard at school, get good grades, make friends for yourself and your mother, entertain your sister, see to it that you use the pool so to not have it be a waste, get into a grueling medical school regiment, pass all the exams and all that it takes to become a medical doctor, be very social, attend to all friends and strangers… all that had nothing to do with media and everything to do with that mental unit.

And of course, the stress of all this exhausts you, and maybe the cycle of the month takes your already stressed and exhausted body over the edge.

What do you think?

anita