Dear Lily:

“why it is wrong to own up to breaking something?”- in this case, the stick breaking off the rack, it doesn’t make the rack any less useful, the breaking of the stick didn’t make the rack dangerous to the touch, does it? So following the stick breaking, if the rack can be used just like before, and if it is not dangerous to the touch (like likely to cause a tear in the skin), and it is an acceptable custom to use each other’s rack, and your own rack had a stick broken too by someone else who used it.. then the stick breaking is a matter of no consequence and is part of a regular, accepted behavior in the laundry room. Therefore there is nothing to own up to.

“Am I creating more problems by doing so, upsetting people?”- you are upsetting yourself, Lily. I don’t know at all that you are upsetting others.

You should ask for and get your woodcutting materials back from one of the roommates. I hope you get those back and in good shape. When you loaned those, it wasn’t specified when they should be returned?

I am glad that you “really feel more self-aware and hopeful right now”! I think that doing calm things every day is an excellent plan, and so is the idea of spending time by the ocean. I wonder what message you might place in a bottle (I don’t expect you to share, as it may be private).

anita