Dear Cali Chica:

As to your yesterday post: “I did work step-by-step today.. less talk more action”- it is about taking action Mindfully, attentively, having your mind focused on what you are doing, not being busy elsewhere, thinking of what is yet to come or what was. Your very desired living in the here-and-now is about Mindfulness. Not only in the Soho yoga studio but anywhere and everywhere.

Your mother gave you and your sister examples of “people who are doing things right” but almost all the people she pointed to as examples were “extremely immature.. not what they seem to.. people who continually talked and talked, she praised these people”.

“she would praise the young kid who is constantly posting how many he or she gets in gym class every day, saying what a stellar child”- similar to the time you were part of a science project with your father, at a booth of sorts, and your mother focused on a another kid and his booth, one you referred to as a bully type, laughing at his jokes. What do you expect from a mother-child who runs around her house, because she is afraid of getting a simple shot? A woman who is so immature herself, forever-child in an adult, now almost 60 year old body?

As to today’s post: you woke up this morning “tight, stressed, frustrated.. a lot of tension.. annoyance”- it is most important to do the Mindful practice of step by step while so uncomfortable as you were or still are this morning. It is easy to exercise mindfulness when feeling calm; difficult when tense and most important to practice when uncomfortable.

Last year, I remember, you being in Southern California, (it was the time you met your sister there, had pizza in a restaurant with her and your husband but you were worried, the restaurant was not fancy enough or adequate for your sister). So you found an opportunity at the time in Orange County (OC), the land of Disneyland. Your husband at the time had the option of working in NYC where he is currently working or work with an established doctor in OC, paying him an unreasonable amount of money for about six months, while not expecting any income. The goal would have been him opening his own practice in OC/ Southern California. You would have worked in OC, job market being very open for you.

I read the rest of your post. It occurred to me that it is a possiblity, if it comes to it, that you will move elsewhere in the country, settle in a good job for yourself and prepare for him to join you. Not ideal, of course, but it crossed my mind. Or the other way around, if it ever makes sense to do so.

You love nyc. You plan to have children and your are in your thirties, so there is a time limit to do that, unless you are okay with being a mother at 40.

Another thought and I am coming from a completely ignorant mindset on the matter: can your husband work as a general surgeon/ other MD job, or is he limited to his speciality?

It may even make sense to make an impulsive move, to .. just move someplace that is promising and take it from there. Crazy, isnt it. Still, a possibility.

I will be waiting for your thoughts/ answers.

anita