Dear Cali Chica;

I understand your frustration and it is not easy to find a therapist who is decent, honest, hard working. An expensive one does not mean caring or decent. So yes, it has to be difficult. And the process of going through all the sharing you did on your threads here, yes, it is a difficult concept. But if we can’t make it here, move forward, that is something to look into.

For now, you are tired for sure. I would like it if you at this time practice empathy for yourself. Understand that the extent of your hurt and anger is proportional to how badly you were abused by your mother (and your father adding to it).

I was in a similar situation to yours in that I was newly married, lashed out at husband repeatedly, having had a similar experience with my mother… then I started therapy with the first competent, decent, honest and caring therapist in my life. He first saw me and my husband in a couple or marriage therapy context, his first priority was to maintain and protect the relationship. After that was done, he saw me individually.

If you want, I can look into my notes from that time and share with you the steps in the therapy I received. (If you lived in SoCal I would have recommended to you my former therapist!)

anita