I agree and realized a lot of what you are saying Valora. But why not address the issue at that moment? Or at the end of the day when things cooled off a bit for her? I said this (to myself and possibly to her, dont remember) when she insisted that moving in wasnt a good idea (hers by the way); this relationship will not end cuz of a break up but rather from a lack of communication. And i was right. I perhaps need to be less pushy and helpful but if i really care about u i will try my best to help. I realize she is non confrotational but as a 26 yr old adult, you say something is wrong and not hold it in or else u explode! The consequences end up being worse if problems are held in. I understand ppl are different though and can see her perspective but in a relationship, you have to communicate. The reason i am pushy is that she stopped letting me know what she was up to. And to me, thats how u build trust. There is a certain point where u can reach it and be comfortable. That is why me and my ex lasted 4 years, it wasnt trust that was issue, it was my wavering and undecisivenesss to settle down that ultimately ended the relationship. I called it off 2 times, and broke up with her.

I instantly realized what I was doing was what my ex wanted. But still those were things she was right that I had to work on. And while they were told by a previous partner, I still wanted to do them. But being pushy is subjective to ppl. Theres being encouraging to ppl, motivating someone, trying to help someone, beinh pushy, aggressive and just plain forcing someone etc. Different ppl can view things differently. She probably felt the right end of that spectrum.

I have never been at convincing ppl to do things, but I do give good around advice.

Mark, she had mentioned that she wanted to get away from her dad. So moving to my city, 35 min away, was her idea and she really liked moving in for free for 2 months in the beggining. Now i get saying u hate your job and actually detesting it are two different things but having a resume might be the push she needed. We worked on it on the phone together as well. I could see where i am being pushy but its not even to a great or dangerous state.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by Alecsee.