Shelby how did your last day go?! How are you feeling this Friday eve?

Its interesting that you mention you feel as though letting go of the job is almost like letting go of another link you had to your mum.. Yes that is heavy and deep but it is real and I can very much relate, actually for a long time I’ve questioned whether that is one of the subconscious reasons why I stuck around Mr A for so long…

&&& congratulations on the graduation! Speaking of, I actually spent the day today watching my sister celebrate her graduation at university. What a beautiful day. Honestly I couldn’t be more proud to watch her in that gown after all of the ups and downs of uni life, I’m so pleased for her!

Back to the aunties though, I guess from what I remember they were single yes BUT my relationship with Mr A doesn’t seem to be stopping the questions being fired at me the same way. I suppose my loved ones and those who have known me for a lifetime ultimately know of my wants, hopes and dreams for the future so to be in a ‘settled’ (little do they know) relationship for four years is like ‘Hey guys! When are you getting married? When are you having babies? We wanna party at a wedding! Or I wanna be a grandma/auntie’ etc. They probably don’t mean harm but it is extremely disheartening when it is everything I’ve always wanted, everything I hoped to have with him and as you said, he is just not capable of giving me any of that… not now, not anytime soon. I guess that’s where the comparison to my aunties comes in.

I think this is very much a moment of deep reflection for me, the past few weeks. We’re slowly approaching the time in which we would b able to hand in our two month notice at the apartment and I think with that the tension is definitely sky high. He is adamant still that he 10000000000000% wants this no doubt. And yet he is simply so stuck in his ways that there is absolutely no resolution to my needs/wants having been ignored for the last four years and the expectation for me to keep waiting for the hypothetical thing is still sky high.

I think a little bit like your ex he is just what I like to call a ‘never ready’ type of man. It’s all one day, no plans, no action plan no nothing just one day surely things will just fall in place right?…

Who knows eh..