Dear CluelessCarrot:

“I was never able to open up to my parents when I was younger. Whenever I did, I was pretty much laughed at and told I was just being ridiculous. So instead of trying to tell people how I felt, I would just close up. I never once heard my parents tell me ‘I love you’ or even ‘I’m proud of you'”-

I am so impressed and honored that you opened up to me, here on your thread by sharing the above. If I may say so, I am proud of you for opening up as you did. I promise you that I will not betray your trust in opening up as you did (and if you will anytime in the future). I will not laugh at you or tell you or communicate to you in any way that you are being ridiculous.

Problem is that when a child grows up with this kind of mistreatment by parents, the child is afraid to open up.. fast forward, as an adult, the now adult, if and when he/ she opens up, he is alert: am I being laughed at? So let’s say you open up to a person and she smiles because she feels empathy for you, but you are likely to think: oh, she is laughing at me!

Therefore, if I write something to you now or in the future that reads to you like you are being laughed at or told that you are ridiculous, ask me what I meant by what I wrote, and I will explain to you what I meant. Remember my promise to you.

How much did you open to this woman in the first five years and since you reconnected most recently?

anita