Dear Maria:

Do you think there is a chance of the two of you getting back together?

If there is a chance of that, pay attention to what he told you, that you were terrorizing him with the nagging. This means that he felt that his mental health is in danger because of you, so he ran away from danger, as animals do when threatened. He ran away by breaking up with you.

If there is a getting back together, if such is considered by the two of you, attend first to the danger that he ran away from- the nagging on your part must end, not lessen, not become less frequent- but end altogether. You  must promise him that and be able to keep your promise at all times.

I know he wasn’t perfect in the relationship and sometimes verbally aggressive at times when you nagged him, and that he was imperfect otherwise. Nevertheless, your nagging of him is not an issue of compromise- it has to end completely because any of it– if you get back together- will bring a final breakup.

Maybe, just maybe if you understand this point thoroughly and are able to follow through and communicate that to him, maybe he will feel safe enough to give the relationship another try.

anita