Dear G,

The pain of the physical condition and the pain of losing the life that you yearned for as a result of it is something that can be very difficult to deal with.

The thing that has helped with that is first an acceptance of what is happening, a reappraisal of the possibilities that are remaining. An objective listing of weaknesses and strengths with positive actions addressed at overcoming the weakness and building on strengths has also helped. The journey in to the new life is not easy and constant reminders of what could have been can consistently cause pain. Accept that too.

While the disability is in itself limiting, make a firm commitment to yourself not to give yourself additional pain by the process of blaming yourself. You are not responsible for what has happened to you.

You are concerned about your family. Make them proud of you by facing your difficulty head on and doing the best you can. The process will not be easy. There will be ups and downs but as long as you commit and act to always getting up, you will find yourself looking forward to life and its challenges.

Wish you the best.