Dear Gaia:

I don’t think anyone is 100% honest all the time. I will give you an example: I am often asked the question: “How are you?” and I answer “fine” even when I don’t feel fine. Or I am asked: “What are you thinking?”- If I choose to answer, I may pick what I thought five minutes ago, not just when asked.

We don’t owe anyone to confess our feelings and thoughts- these are our private business, we own our thoughts and feelings, so they are ours and we choose what to share with whom.

When I say “fine” when asked how I am doing, I mean good enough, or nothing-that-I-want- to discuss. And when asked what I am thinking, the 100% honest question would be: none of your business. But I don’t want to appear rude.

So I am not 100% honest and I don’t expect you to be that.

About shame and embarrassment- I still feel shame about certain things I’ve done in the past and will not share about them, but mostly because I already worked through these things and don’t need input from others regarding those things. Still, what I am saying to you is that I am not a saint, I probably did things as embarrassing and maybe way more embarrassing than you did or experienced.

About not being liked- I already like you, for the first time while reading your very recent post. I just realized it. And the reason is because I  understand you a little better now, that you too, like me (and like anyone else) worry about not being liked.

Regarding appearing “unwillingly aggressive”- don’t worry about it. Again I was plenty angry and aggressive for many  years. What I meant by the comment to you in my last post is- don’t be aggressive toward me, as in calling me names, saying “f** you” to me and so forth. I think you can’t be aggressive to me these ways and not know that you are, so don’t worry, if you can.

One more thing: any question I ask you is not about getting private information from you and enjoying it in a creepy kind of way, nor do I want details that anyone reading these posts (on this public forum) may enjoy in a creepy way. So share what you want to share in general terms when the details are too embarrassing, I will probably be able to fill the blanks.

anita