I have to be able to create that affection by myself and not need it from anyone else. It’s a really hard task for me but I’m trying to accomplish this at the moment. Also it is really hard for me to share this side of me with my parents, I can share a bit with my mom but I don’t think this kind of confrontation would end in a nice way because of my dad’s health issues. I can even lose him, so I’m not planning any confrontation with him. Maybe it would be a big regret for me in the future but I don’t know, I don’t have the courage for that.

Thank you again for your reply, really.