Dear S:

Unfortunately, it reads like this is the end of the relationship, or at least, it should be the end because he’ll keep fighting for you until he gives up and succumbs to his parents.. again. So why should you bother if the end result is that he will succumb to  his parents sooner or later.

His  parents are paying for his education and stay in the U.S.- the more he stays in the U.S., the more money they spend on him. The more money they spend on him, the more  indebted he feels.

It is not only in the Indian culture that parents own their children (minor and adult-children). Parents own their children in many ways. In the arranged marriage culture, what happens often (does it not?) that the indebted adult children marry who their parents want them to marry but they have extra marital affairs with previous lovers or others. Satisfy the parents on one hand and experience romance and passion on the other hand.

Often the mother is the more powerful of the parents. She OWNS her children. I don’t think there is anything  you can say to her to change her mind. What could possibly motivate her to change her mind? If you tell her how much the two of you love each other- she is not likely to say: oh, I didn’t know. I want my son to be happy.

She is not about love, she is about power, about owning him- is what I am thinking. What do you think?

anita